I smile with the grace of butterfly wings

a gentle flutter

and though the wind offers me a soft caress,

I cannot help but shiver in its cool embrace

baby hairs tickle my nose and forehead

but I do not move them away.

I watch the world spin through the clouds

and so I swing higher and higher

I am awake, yet also asleep.

And even though I normally enjoy the sun’s

sweet buttery kiss

I almost wish it would go away

so the gnawing sickness in my stomach

would feel at home amongst the

overcast sky and

the world would be slow and still

and I would be able to die.