I sit              here

in the space between words and the world and

i think—well, daydream really. I wander, about the wonders.

and my mind it              PoUnDs                       incessantly

you should listen to your bodies call for water

                    (more on this later: the Return to the Water)

but back to the dreams. The day ones. Perhaps the scariest of all.

To dream in daylight where one cannot hide from what it is they are dreaming. There is no cover of shadow. If my thoughts manifested like the light of a star then they would race past the night sky and illuminate it in its entirety. It would be daylight regardless. Gods, they fucking burn bright. The pounding. in the head. again.

I—

                    i cannot get it all out. the longer i stare the more distorted my perception becomes. I assume I can just reach out and grasp the thought but its like a cat who lays in front of me. You can look, but you cannot touch. Maybe it wants me to slow down, I ponder. I stare at the thoughts. I ask if any of them want to sit with me.

Some do.

Others giggle and flitter away. I wish to see them soon. I offer my farewells and know I will meet them again in the sea. In the sky. I’m not scared to let these ones go.

But the ones who sit in front of me. I don’t want to spook them. these are the dreams I fear.

The ones I will not do justice because I have to be ever so quick and ever so careful.

I feign indifference. They see right through me.

Pick a pace, pick up a pace, any pace and space and look at you going! You’re doing it, really.

It’s like riding a bike, keep pedalling and it will tumble out. sometimes the words win and you don’t. sometimes the thoughts disguise themselves and all of a sudden you are writing and reading and singing and confessing things you never thought you would and—little bastards.

Quit! With the surprises already. Really. I hate them.

They blink at me. Just blink. And then I remember I am here. I am sitting. At my laptop and

dammit, they’ve got me spiralling

down the rabbit hole again—and yes,

I would take the blue pill thank-you-very-much and no

i do not want to talk about it